And so began my search, pt 4

So more than half a decade had passed before his name was mentioned again and my thoughts lingered on him for more than 5 minutes - he’s gotten engaged.

Permanence is hardly at the forefront of our minds when we are young.

It’s like the reason why before the Season Finale episode of almost any sitcom, there is a “Best Of’s” episode.. hence all the flashbacks, the music, thoughts, and memories.

I remember the little love notes - hidden in books, drawers, and altoid tins. The stuffed bear found sitting on a stack of newspapers on the side of the road and the fear of maybe catching an infestation of bed bugs. But loving bed bugs, of course. I remember long stemmed roses, just like in the old movies, and a terribly clumpy batch of chocolate covered strawberries whipped up the night before Valentine’s Day. But also there were stomach-aches brought on by stress and fear of loss, dramatic fights on the streets of Soho, at the apt in Troy, locked up in my bedroom, and of course the ever growing nagging feeling of wanting for… more.