January 2009
144 posts
Being nice?
Walked around for a half hour after settling in, bought some flavored shortbread cookies, and got stopped on the street by a dude named Billy who was out walking his two dogs. He made a complete 180 and started chatting with me as I continued walking in the direction he had been coming from. 4 blocks later he gives me his number and I’m still wondering if I’m about to get mugged. New...
“Old people who travel together are so darn adorable! I hope one day I have an...”
– Sitting in my seat, surrounded by the stench of aged lovers. Heehee.
Waiting
Flight to Honolulu has been delayed for 40 minutes or so because we are waiting for something like 50 passengers from a flight coming from Asia to show up. Damn Asians operating on Asian time. I guess the 60 and over crowd (they make up about 90% of this flight it seems) and I will be taking our afternoon naps now.
Why, hello San Francisco
Touched down in San francisco and the first thing I do is scramble to the bathroom. Oh no, this was not fueled by the need to expel any sort of matter, solid or liquid, from deep within the confines of my seemingly bottomless sack of a stomach, but this: I’m an idiot who decided skinny jeans would be a rational traveling outfit. 5 hours into my 10+ hr flight, I was squirming and slouched in...
Not a bum night
Nothing like a delicious greasebomb to motivate you to haul ass to gym. I ended up there at 10pm, better late than never.
And I actually got most of the important stuff done on that list. Just set back a couple of hours and in a completely different neighborhood. Ya gotta love NYC and the hundreds of chain stores all more than easily reachable by public transpo.
I’ve got my guide book in my...
“It’s almost 7 and I have done nothing on the list. Instead I am at shake...”
– Currently disregarding lists!
pre-vacay listage
woo! i got paid! commence countdown to vacation…
to do:
pack toiletries.. pack.. in general. i need to figure out what to wear. its been a while since i’ve felt what 78 degree weather is like…. too warm? too cold? who knows? (last possible minute)
deposit paycheck so i’s gots some spending moneys. (around, 5:30pm)
go to the bookstore and get a guidebook i guess!...
ed
me: ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY!?!!
David: i think we both know the answer to that question :D
me: :( im only a couple thousand dollars away from getting the face surgery....
David: no amount of face surgery can fix stupid
David: BOOM!!
me: OH MAAAN OUUUCH
David: burn
David: ed
me: wait im not ed
David: oh
David: ur right
David: then none of that applies to you
First Date Essentials: What To Bring, And What To...
BRING THESE: Condoms Even if you’d never even dream of sleeping with anyone on a first date (except that one time), bring one. Or three. You’ll be happy you did once you’re getting hot and heavy and he pulls out a condom that was manufactured in 1993.*yea… bring 3. what?!!* An Excuse To Leave If you don’t think you’ll be able to fake your way through an “emergency phone call” from your...
trippin'
can someone remind me why i thought it was such a great idea to book the 7am flight out of jfk to honolulu? and… i know this holds true for international flights, that you should get to the airport 2 hours before the flight takes off, but… hawaii is domestic, even though it is an ocean away.. right? so… i dont HAVE to get to the airport torturously early? i had thought about...
“Gordon bugs me … Now he goes about town calling me Fanta Pants.”
– The beefy “Iron Chef” has prohibited the star of Fox’s “Hell’s Kitchen,” who runs a fancy place at the London NYC Hotel, from entering any of Batali’s dining spots, including the Spotted Pig and Babbo, after Ramsay began calling him “Fanta Pants”...
brewer's droop.
“The study, which surveyed over 1,500 Australian men, found that drinkers — even binge drinkers — reported lower rates of erectile dysfunction than teetotallers. Smokers, men who suffered from heart disease, and former drinkers who were on the wagon admitted to more problems with so-called “brewer’s droop.” (And how I love that term. Much less crass than “whiskey...
pissed and cold
last night, it was really late and i fell asleep on the train, missed my stop, ended up somewhere in astoria, and it was SO COLD so i was like, screw this, im going to find a cab. im standing on the street, one of the car service cars pulls up and i tell the guy, im not going to take your car because i can only pay with credit card. he keeps saying “well where are you going? where are you...
“Lunch break in Chinatown! Funny, I thought there was supposed to be a parade...”
– Current status
“Umm…I just went nutso insane and downloaded 3 photography apps- photogene,...”
– Need flash app. Halp!
5.5.5.
Cochon 555 Sunday, January 25, 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
Five chefs, five pigs, five winemakers. In a benefit for Farms for City Kids, each chef will prepare nose-to-tail dishes from a 70-pound heritage pig. Guests and judges will determine the winner. Tickets $125/person. Hiro Ballroom, Maritime Hotel, 363 West 16th Street (b/n 8th and 9th Avenues, map), Chelsea; 404-849-3569; event website
thanks...
“i think i spend 75% of my work day looking at restaurant menus and food pictures”
– currently making myself hungry.
do you ever...
…get pissed off that you’ve just written someone an incredibly witty and friendly email only to have them reply back with just the bare-bones of a response?
thanks.
eharmony has given up on me
wth is this? eharmony no longer updates me on when i receive communication! which means, i would never find out, without logging in, who has left me a message, who has answered my 2nd stage questions, and who has decided to gross me out.
after i logged in, i realized i had a new message from an old date - eharmony guy #1.*
he left a pretty sweet message, 2 months after our last communication,...
piercings
“Holly Crawford, the Pennsylvania woman who was selling “gothic kittens” with pierced ears has been charged with animal cruelty.
As an Egyptology-obsessed kid, I loved the cat goddess Bast. She was a fierce protector, sometimes depicted as a lioness, sometimes as an elegant domestic feline. Since cats could kill mice, rats and cobras, the Ancient Egyptians valued the species,...
“Pretentious: wearing Pince-nez
some guy on the plane was wearing them and they...”
– Pince-nez (via nopantelonesat)
_____________________________
oh no no no no no! on the right person it could be hella cool! like…for
example, this guy:
he’d look sexy in them. but then again… he’d look sexy in anything.
…or nothing.
“mm just made some delicious “healthy” banana muffins…. a...”
– must resist eating all of them in one sitting.
“I would have an orgy. Just to see what it felt like to be a man and really get...”
– Megan C., via yelp discussion board on topic: If you were the opposite sex for one day what would you do??
goldilocks
Vivien: where's dinner? can i come stalk u??/
me: suuure. come rescue me. double crown
Vivien: oohhhhh fancy nice
me: guess who picked it?
Vivien: u?
me: haaa yep. godd another one of those no opinion types
Vivien: i think u need to change ur eharmony profile man. something is wrong
me: maybe i need to retake the quiz
Vivien: u should be like " i want someone with an opinion. but not too much. just the right amount. and yes my name is goldilocks"
me: OHHH SHIZZAAAA
likes: guys who make decisions
me: GOD YOU KNOW WHAT ANNOYED ME ABOUT DATE 3? he wouldnt pick a fucking place. i think its nice when a guy is like, oh there is a place i like why dont we check it out
me: i picked the 2nd date place. so its his turn dammit
Paolo: he sucks then. he probably likes penis. why didnt u bring him to a place that serves penis
me: ew you are digusting
Paolo: that's a kind of fish
me: PENIS IS A KIND OF FISH rightttt...
me: a dirty penis maybe
Paolo: hahaha lol. i'm sure you're speaking from experience
me: eeeww
Paolo: jokes
me: gross
what happened with eharmony #3, pt 2
me: it was ok, we had stuff to talk about and its not like the conversation wasnt interesting. it just wasnt stimulating and i actually found some of his ideas about architecture a little annoying and even his personality was a little lackluster
Paolo: is he an architect?
me: no he is the musician
Paolo: oh what does he know about architecture then
me: he is interested in it, as many people are or claim to be, but he lacks BALLS and PASSION. he lacks the kind of insane vision some people have
me: he is not a PASSIONATE DREAMER who believes in POSSIBILITIES and insane inventions
me: he is not insane
me: i guess thats what i am saying
me: he is so boringly vanilla
me: all the things that irked me from date 1 came back in date 3. i guess date 2 was just that buzz of alcohol and otherness that masked it
what happened with eharmony #3, pt 1
Paolo: so how's the dating scene looking?
me: lets see, i went on another date with the last eharmony guy (the one that i thought i liked) but it turns out i dont like him anymore
Paolo: what happened to him?
me: i dont know, just.. not so interesting anymore. he's not the one. it was probably the booze during the 2nd date, the booze tricked me into thinking i was in love
Paolo: how did that date go?
me: well the 3rd date with him was at double crown. food was yum. but he is a pescatarian... i cant do that. i mean, i dont want to deal with that. sucks to have to pick and choose what we can and can not share
Paolo: ha that's funny. so since you're really talking more about the place than him it seems like it wasn't fun
me: how much fun can a date be when you realize you're not that into him?
i try to help. i really do.
Paolo: i dont know what to do with my life right now
Paolo: i feel like i'm on a crossroad and i can't make up my mind
Paolo: it's pissing me off
Paolo: ok i'm going home...i'm goin to go for a long walk
me: alright...dont be pissed off
me: its not worth getting pissed off over
me: life could be a whole lot worse
me: you're lucky you can make this decision on your own because a lot of people don't have that privilege, but good luck!!! i know it can be frustrating to be unhappy with where you are
me: and let me know if you need to talk
me: um, except i kind of have a gross cough right now
me: and cant really use my voice much without going into insane coughing fits
me: but i''ll try to help if i can
"today is a wonderful day" list
I CAN TASTE!! after a good couple of days of MIA tastebuds (due to cold) which really put a slight damper on the wonderful brunch at Dovetail, the beautiful cupcakes gifted to me from Viv, and my daily highlight of granola+yogurt (the yummy kind of granola! with raisins!).. i can finally finally enjoy my food again… which will lead to all sorts of other dangers and overloads of...
“DONE! DONEDONEDONEDONEDONE!! i’m going to hawaii!!!”
– AAHHHH i cant believe i did that.
mother goose
Vivien: and are we back on the [redacted] boat?
me: we were never off the [redacted] boat...
Vivien: well we took a long detour for awhile... u wavered on jumping off with the butthead comment no?
me: im never fully off anything. ive always got something somewhere like.. a little pinky toe... there was still a little pinky toe on that boat. i have many little pinky toes
Vivien: hahahah this little piggy....
me: "this little piggy has a crush on [redacted]... this little piggy would consider getting back with her hs sweetheart... this little piggy would continue her gayxploitation... "
Vivien: hehehehhe. awesome nursery rhyme
“Chief Justice John Roberts only had to do one thing today, besides look pretty:...”
– via Gawker. [MSNBC]